I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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