how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
