I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
did i walk over a car last night?
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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