i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
