her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
