Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
