Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
My ass is underappreciated
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Randomize
