i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
