I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
