there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
