I understand Curling. That high.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
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