I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
