Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
well I can't set my house on fire every night
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Randomize
