I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Maybe he injected his testicle?
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Pants are for mortals
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
