Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
I just found a bag of teeth...
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Randomize
