id be glad to
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
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