i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
