I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize
