Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
he shaved USA in his pubs
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Randomize
