After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
