we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
