Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
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