She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I need a hoe opinion
go on
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Randomize
