Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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