3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize
