saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Randomize
