Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I was not drunk enough for that final.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
