I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
