You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Randomize
