New invention idea: vibrating tampons
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
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