i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
