Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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