What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Randomize