i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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