I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Randomize
