thus making me awesome and them whores
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Randomize
