I'm eating all of the evidence.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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