remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
