i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
We got so high we made milksteak
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Randomize
