So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Randomize
