Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
