it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Randomize
