Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
