so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
