her vagina looked like bernie madoff
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
