and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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