Pregnant stripper...not hot.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Randomize
