I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
Randomize