i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
