is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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