I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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