they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
